Heartbeat
by madmadkid
Summary: Shepard and Kaidan are reunited after the Reapers are defeated. My post destroy ending headcanon.


"_This is the SSV Normandy, requesting docking permission."_

"_We read you Normandy, permission granted."_

Shepard stood alone in the docking bay, listening to Joker talk with Citadel control over the comm. She could barely stand still. Her arms would rest at her sides, then move to her hips, then cross over chest, then finally link behind her back before falling once again to her sides and starting the cycle all over again.

She was still amazed that the Alliance hadn't figured out she'd survived the Crucible firing. She was still listed as missing in action and Dr. Michel took doctor-patient confidentiality very seriously. Admiral Hackett knew. He had ordered the search party to look for her after the shockwave from the Crucible had dissipated. They had found Anderson and The Illusive Man in the Citadel tower control room. Hackett hadn't let them stop looking for a month until she had finally sent him a message from Dr. Michel's terminal. She had let Hackett know she was alive, but had asked him to keep it a secret for as long as he could, as a personal favor. She knew it was selfish and maybe a little cowardly, but she just wasn't ready.

Making the decision to destroy the Reapers hadn't been easy. In the end, she knew it was the right choice. She had immediately disliked the Catalyst and even in her weakened state, his words didn't make sense to her. Synthetics and organics _could_ be at peace. She'd proven it. And she knew, given the chance, that the species of the galaxy could prove it again.

The loss of the geth and EDI in particular haunted her. That was the main reason she wasn't ready to submit to an Alliance debrief. Having to justify Bahak had been particularly grueling and she did not look forward to going through it again with a species she had actually been fond of.

But if she was being truly honest with herself—recuperating alone in what was left of Huerta Memorial had given her a lot of time for introspection—she needed Kaidan by her side again, supporting her. Shepard had spent the last three years being strong; being the hero that everyone could rely on. She figured she was allowed a little weakness now that it was all over.

The Normandy was approaching the dock. Shepard was now fussing with her hair. She couldn't decide between leaving it up in a simple ponytail or letting it down. It had grown longer in the last six months and she had taken to keeping it up and out of the way until she could get it cut back to her preferred pixie style. She stopped and almost laughed at loud when she realized how silly that was. The last thing he was going to be thinking about was her hair. Her nerves were starting to get to her and she leaned against the railing overlooking the wards, watching the Normandy close in on the dock.

Most of the arms of the wards had remained intact, only one had been badly damaged enough to become fully detached. It wasn't like she'd have been able to actively help the rebuilding effort on the Citadel anyway. It had taken her weeks to even be able to walk again. She had, however, surreptitiously hacked into C-Sec's systems and kept herself up to speed on the rebuilding efforts, anonymously dropping tips that would help get important systems back online where she could. As a combat tech, she wasn't nearly as good as say, Kasumi Goto at electronics and decryption, but she was still a tech and wouldn't have been able to sit back and not contribute at all.

Shepard was also amazed at how many Citadel residents had survived. C-Sec and the militia had managed to rally a pretty impressive number of civilians and hold off the Reaper shock troops that had invaded when Cerberus tipped them off.

The Alliance still kept a temporary base of operations in London, but used the beam left over from the Reapers to transport supplies back and forth from the Citadel. Most people still preferred shuttles to the express trip.

Shepard had kept herself updated about the Normandy's whereabouts. Traynor had managed to get the QEC working within a week, naturally, and they had been in on and off contact with Earth and the Alliance Fifth Fleet. The loss of EDI had greatly slowed down repair time, but with Adams, Donnelly, Daniels, Tali, Garrus, and Kaidan all working together they'd managed to get her airborne again. They had been limping back towards Earth for the last six months while Shepard recovered and Kaidan had finally radioed in to say they were approaching the Citadel.

Shepard knew she had to be there when the Normandy docked. She needed to see Kaidan. She needed to be the one to let him know she was alive. She hated that he didn't know already, but communications were too risky. The comm buoy system wasn't fully operational yet, and she definitely didn't have access to the Alliance's QEC. He had to be with her when she finally reported back to the Alliance. She called in one more favor to Hackett, promising she would report back to the Alliance as soon as she was reunited with her crew.

Shepard straightened up and faced the airlock doors as the Normandy finally glided into the dock. Her heart was racing as the clamps locked the ship into place. She had butterflies in her stomach for the entire duration of the decontamination cycle. The doors opened and there he was. Garrus and Vega were right behind him. Vega noticed her first, a big, incredulous grin spreading across his face. Kaidan's eyes were glued to the floor as he walked through the airlock. Shepard took a deep, calming breath before calling out to him.

"Kaidan."

He looked up, but his expression was dark, and she could tell he hadn't been sleeping. His eyes narrowed, skeptical of her. It was as if he was trying to discern whether she was real or just a tortuous hallucination.

"Spirits. She's just too stubborn to die isn't she?" Garrus said with a wry laugh. Kaidan's face softened and he walked towards her, quickly closing the space between them.

Shepard started to say something, but he raised a hand to stop her. Slowly, tentatively, he reached out and placed his hand on her chest, over her heart. It was still hammering in her chest. He looked up from his hand to her face and she placed her hand over his and smiled.

"I told you I'd be waiting for you."

His other hand moved to warmth of her exposed neck, her pulse point. Her throat caught when she tried to speak again, to reassure him that it was her; she was real and alive. Instead she squeezed his hand, pressing it harder into her chest and heartbeat.

Kaidan let out a breath Shepard hadn't realized he was holding and he finally pulled her to him and pressed his lips to hers.


End file.
